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I,Cummings
I’ve seem some scary, dystopian sci-fi in my time but this one about a data-driven nightmare future run by creatures incapable of human emotions really shook me up.
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Spandau Ballet – True
The perfect opportunity for the Spands to make some cash…
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Dry January – The Album
I think the record labels are missing a trick here…
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1980s Film Gossip Magazine
I’ve spent a lot of time this year listening to film podcasts like Smershpod and Betamax Video Club which have reviewed some of my favourite films from the 1980s, and some of my least favourite. It doesn’t matter, it’s always fun to go over some of the classics of the era which have survived the… Read more
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Jeremy Corbyn in the Cats film.
There appear to have been two huge disasters in the UK in December 2019. Firstly, the massive Labour loss in the General election. no matter which side of the political divide you’re on, I like to see a government kept in check by a decent opposition, this isn’t going to happen. and then to compound… Read more
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Katy Perry & Chipsticks
Seeing Mariah Carey advertising Walkers Crisps this festive season, what other posters could be dragged in to help sell fried spuds… “I ate your crisps and I liked it.. The taste of your salty Chipsticks.”
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Walken on Sunshine
An idea for a holiday TV show involving Christopher Walken visiting various holiday hotspots and asking people what the fuck they’re doing there. While you’re here, don’t forget to check out These Boots are Made for Walken, and Walken on the Wild Side.
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Sex toy – or item from the Screwfix Catalogue?
As an avid DIYer (oo-er), I thought some of the Screwfix catalogue items sounded a little bit pervy… The BSP Flanged Backnut High performance Universal Plug Tradesman’s Jig Stump Grinder Black Rim Latch Roughneck Pole Digger Flange Head Nuts Tube Bender Stud Hole Dirty Water Pump Victorian Mortice Knobs Mini Ball Valve Push-fit Union Nuts… Read more
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My portrait of Michael Portillo
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"I'll give you my narwhal tusk when you pry it from my cold, dead hands"
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These boots are made for walken
My idea for a new TV series where Christopher Walken travels the world trying on handmade boots…
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True top regrets of the dying
I thought I’d do my own version of the apparently genuine top regrets of dying people.
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Take a Walken… on the wild side
An idea for a Natural History TV show hosted by Christopher Walken.
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Dominic Cummings on the Death Star
Just a bit of harmless fun on Photoshop ladies and gentlemen. Rather pleased with the colour balance, but the sneer is all Dom’s own.
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What's Dominic Cummings up to? #cummingswatch
A series of images to track what the planet-sized brain of Dominic Cummings is up to… #whatscummingsupto It’s bin day, I caught him rifling through my recycling. When challenged he said he was ‘attempting to infer voter intention through yogurt brand usage’ Caught him poking his head over the toilet door. when I asked what… Read more
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Tommy Robinson T-shirt design
He was pictured strolling down a train looking very pleased with himself, like a proud toddler….
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British Captcha's
Bored with having to identify American ‘sidewalks’, traffic lights and shopfronts, I had a go at designing some British Captcha tests. Whoah – it even got it’s own article in online comedy mag The Poke, where I was described as a ‘funny Tweeter’, which may well be the highpoint of my life to date.
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The hi-tech security secrets of Air Force One
My insider’s look at what keeps the President’s plane so secure.
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Special Effects Secrets of the Simon Cowell Barclaycard Advert…
Everything you need to know about how they shot that impressive Barclaycard advert featuring Simon Cowell’s scary face.
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Nigel Farage Nightmare Image
Titting about with filters. Scary.
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Who's In The Running To Replace Theresa May – asked The Guardian…
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Theresa May wearing a scarf…
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Christmas TV Highlights
I’ve done the hard work for you and previewed the key shows on TV over the next few days that you CANNOT afford to miss. Enjoy! A Christmas Corbyn: Family Disney retelling of the Dickins classic. Starring Mickey Rooney as the leader of Her Majesty’s Most Loyal Opposition. Comedy abounds as Ebeneezer Corbyn is called a… Read more
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Worst Selling Christmas Singles of All Time
Christmas singles — like them or loathe them, you simply can’t avoid them. And whilst most people like to think of their favourite tracks at this time of year, I’ve compiled a list of the tunes that simply failed to chart and have been written out of musical history. All right pop pickers? Let’s rock!… Read more
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10 Items From the Screwfix Catalogue Which Could be Rappers, DJs or 1980s Pop Acts
Turbo Silver — http://www.screwfix.com/p/turbo-silver-woodscrews-double-self-countersunk-5-x-45mm-200-pack/48275 Flomaster — http://www.screwfix.com/p/flomasta-flat-towel-radiator-chrome-1100-x-600mm-385w-1314btu/5509d Robus Triangular — http://www.screwfix.com/p/robus-triangular-led-cabinet-downlight-brushed-chrome/65404 Boston Flashband — http://www.screwfix.com/p/flashband-bostik-flashband-flashband-grey-10-x-225mm/22704 MK Sentry — http://www.screwfix.com/p/mk-sentry-16-module-10-way-metal-split-load-consumer-unit/2186g Masterplug 3 Way Splitter — http://www.screwfix.com/p/masterplug-3-way-splitter-110v/78182 Timbadeck — http://www.screwfix.com/p/timbadeck-double-countersunk-carbon-steel-decking-screws-4-5-x-65mm-1300-pack/23160 Mapei Ultraplan — http://www.screwfix.com/p/mapei-ultraplan-self-levelling-compound-grey-25kg/4959f Stikatak — http://www.screwfix.com/p/stikatak-all-in-one-polyethylene-wood-laminate-flooring-underlay-3mm-10m/41337 Wolfcraft Master — http://www.screwfix.com/p/wolfcraft-master-200-folding-workbench/1970p
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Winter Tips
I’m no expert, but I’ve learnt a thing or two whilst keeping warm during the winter, and plenty of these tips will help you save cash too! Feel free to share! Turn your central heating down by 1 degree and on average you’ll save over £100 a year on heating bills. Well, do the math(s),… Read more
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Autumn TV Highlights…
My pick of what to look out for on your screens this autumn!! Strictly Come Dancing. BBCs One, Two, Four. BBC News, and Online. BBC Radio.This year’s hunt for celebrities sees the corridors of the BBC echo ever louder to the sound of a barrels being scraped. This year, Chris Camp from Hollyoaks or Towie… Read more
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May Day Bank Holiday TV Listings.
The best TV to feast on this bank holiday in the UK…. Smörgåsbord. Saturday 9pm BBC4. Scandinavian crime drama. Lars Larsson stars as the manic depressive Detective Llarsson Smorgasbord of Gothenburg police who sports chunky knitwear and drives round in a Volvo finding out who’s been murdering pickled herring and leaving them trussed up in an… Read more
