Winter Tips

I’m no expert, but I’ve learnt a thing or two whilst keeping warm during the winter, and plenty of these tips will help you save cash too! Feel free to share!

  • Turn your central heating down by 1 degree and on average you’ll save over £100 a year on heating bills. Well, do the math(s), and if you turn your thermostat down by 30 degrees you’ll save over £3000 a year. Cash back!
  • Rub a raw onion across your glasses to stop them misting up when you enter a warm room after being outside.
  • Don’t turn your heating on during a cold snap. Sounds stupid? By cooling your house your body will shiver, generating your own heat, thus warming your house without expensive ‘central heating’!
  • Don’t buy pricey thermal underwear! Simple wear an old pair of tights which you’ve accidentally stolen from your neighbour’s washing line.
  • Save on cooking bills by cooking ‘one pot’ dishes. Like a beef casserole with apple crumble dumplings. Or make your own ‘multi course’ pasties using pastry walls to keep the courses separate. Bake them with a salad starter in one end, a meat and potatoes main course in the middle, and a baked Alaska for pudding on the end. Delicious, and cost effective to boot!
  • Turmeric! Nature’s hot water bottle! Eat it, smoke it, inject it, turmeric will warm you to the core. Or is that heroin?
  • There’s nothing better on a cold winter’s night than a hot water bottle, plus a mug of steaming hot chocolate. Why not combine the two? Fill your hot water bottle with hot chocolate and treat yourself to warming sips through the night.
  • A nip of strong liquor is well known to ward off the chills. If you have the time, and can be arsed, making your own wine or sloe gin can shave pounds off your weekly booze budget. But take a look in your shed. White spirit, petrol or barbecue lighter fluid are chemically the same as Bacardi, and both can be rendered more tasty with a simple splash of Um Bongo. As drunk in the Congo.
  • Hard boiled eggs make cheap hot water bottles. Plus they’ll still be warm enough to eat for breakfast in the morning.
  • When the temperature falls below freezing, you can switch your freezer off and move all your frozen food outside, saving £££’s on your electricity bill! (But remember to move all your food back into the freezer when the temperature warms up again to avoid food poisoning).
  • Everyone knows fitting glass fibre loft insulation is one of the most cost effective ways of insulating your property, right? Wrong. Very wrong indeed. Why waste money on insulating your whole house, when for a fraction of the cost you can buy just enough insulation to wrap yourself in, and gaffer tape it into place — hey presto! Your own insulating suit to keep you warm wherever you go! We also advise covering yourself in calamine lotion to try to reduce the itching.
  • Save money at the weekends by leaving your central heating off, and simply move into your nearest pub. You’ll find they serve a variety of warming hot drinks, in addition to warming cold, alcoholic drinks. Plus, if you spend enough, they’ll probably cast a blind eye to the fact you’re now slumped in the corner, drunk, wearing nothing but a pair of next door’s tights claiming they’re keeping you warm.

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